5 Things Most Americans Say Are True About Love And Successful Relationships

“When we’re validating, we’re creating space for our partners to experience emotions and also to process their emotions without the fear of being judged or rejected,” Eller said.

3. True love stands the test of time

While 80% of respondents believed this to be true, love isn’t always enough in a marriage, Courtney Cope, licensed marriage and family therapist and principal clinical operations manager at online mental health platform BetterHelp, previously told Fortune.

“Love is undoubtedly a vital foundation for a healthy marriage, but it is not the sole ingredient,” Cope said. “Sustaining a fulfilling partnership requires effective communication, mutual respect, trust, shared values, and active effort from both partners. Love alone cannot address fundamental compatibility issues or the neglect of other important aspects of a relationship.”

Emphasizing individual growth for both partners can ensure that your foundation doesn’t crumble as you find fulfillment in other areas of your lives—which Cope said allows couples to bond and establish appreciation for one other beyond love for one another. You could each find new hobbies or revisit old ones, join recreational sports teams, or begin a new fitness journey.

“If you love someone but they are not evolving, finding personal meaning in their life, and building their own individual happiness, it will be challenging for love to be enough to sustain a lifetime of happiness together,” Cope said.

4. Never go to bed angry

Conflict resolution is a key part of healthy relationships—and evidently most Americans think so, too, as 80% of participants agreed with this classic saying encouraging couples to resolve their fights before calling it a night. 

To avoid unhealthy conflict, be aware of the Four Horsemen, which are four negative communication patterns that can predict divorce, according to research from Gottman: 

1. Criticism
2. Contempt
3. Defensiveness 
4. Stonewalling

Criticism looks like attacking someone for who they are. For example, calling them lazy for not doing the dishes. Defensiveness means putting up an immediate shield when someone brings up something that’s bothering them. The third, contempt, looks like mocking someone for who they are in a genuinely mean-spirited way, while stonewalling (which is a normal response to contempt) looks like ignoring your partner and telling them you “just don’t want to talk about it.” 

Assuming positive intent when your partner does something that upsets you can also help avoid unnecessary fights, Cope said. For example, if you’re frustrated by a mess your partner left in the kitchen—even after asking them multiple times to clean the dishes before leaving for work—you can give yourself time to pause, you might remember your partner has a big presentation and may have needed to rush off to the office to prepare for it. 

5. You can’t love someone else until you love yourself

This popular relationship saying had 75% of respondents agreeing that it was true. Loving yourself isn’t easy—so start with knowing yourself, which is what psychotherapist Eller has advised. 

“We need to be able to understand our triggers, our pasts, our childhoods, and how all of these factors can escalate the interactions with our partners,” Eller previously explained. “Those stories are so important for our own selves to know when we’re in a marriage.” While having a partner you can rely on is a great feeling, even more important is knowing how to care for yourself; after all, you know yourself better than anyone else. And truly knowing yourself means recognizing your needs and being honest about them—like acknowledging when you need a day alone, a workout, or a night out with friends. Keeping up with and feeding your needs will help you show up even better in your relationship.